Marriage Teaching (July 98)

A Woman of Good Understanding
July 1998
by Rich Murphy

There aren't very many women mentioned in the Bible, mostly men. However, when God does take the time to do more than just mention a woman in the Bible, it is for a good reason. So it is with Abigail. Who was Abigail? God called her a woman of good understanding. Let's take a look at why He gave her that name.
We find Abigail mentioned in the 25th chapter of First Samuel. She was married to a man named Nabal, who the Bible describes as a man who "was churlish and evil in his doings" (1 Samuel 25:3).You know how opposites attract? Well, that definitely seems to be the case here. Their entire character appears to be opposite.
Her good understanding was evident in the way she dealt with David, protecting her husband from his own foolishness. It wasn't her beauty, even though she had a "beautiful countenance" (1 Samuel 25:3) ,but her good understanding that made here of value. This woman truly understood what it meant to be a helpmeet, and did her best to prevent any disaster from befalling her husband. Let's take a minute to look at her actions and attitudes, so that we can see what it means to be a woman of good understanding.

The story starts out with David sending 10 of his young men to receive an offering from Nabal. Now, don't get it wrong, David wasn't playing the godfather here, trying to blackmail Nabal into an offering that he didn't deserve. In fact, David had provided Nabal's men with protection. One of his young men said "They were a wall unto us both by night and day..." (1 Samuel 25:16). It was customary in that day for a man of substance to provide for those who protected his property. So, David wasn't asking for anything unusual.
Not only did he have a right to ask, he wasn't picky about what offering Nabal would give. The message he sent was "...give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants..." Granted, since this was sheep shearing time, it could be assumed that David would receive something of sheep from Nabal, but he left it totally up to Nabal's discretion.
Being the type of man that he was, Nabal didn't respond favorably. Instead of sending an offering, he sent harsh words. In fact, the words were so harsh, that David was ready to destroy him, and all that he had.
Here is where Abigail comes into the picture. Apparently the servants knew how he was, and that Abigail would take care of the situation. So, "one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them" (1 Samuel 25:14).
Notice Abigail's reaction to this. She doesn't go nag her husband, he doesn't gossip about him to her friends, she takes care of the problem. "Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses." (1 Samuel 25:18). She doesn't even tell her husband what she's going to do, she just does it (1 Samuel 25:19).
What would you do in this situation? If you're like most people, you'd use it as an opportunity to speak badly of them, either to their face, or to others. This is what made her a woman of good understanding. She took the opportunity as one to do good, not one to do bad.

Let's take a look at how she acts when she meets up with David. Here's David, along with 600 men armed for battle. There's blood in his eye, and he's just looking for someone to take his anger out on. Then along comes Abigail, and turns his wrath aside with a soft word (Proverbs 15:1).
Not only does she bring a gift to David, on behalf of her husband, but she takes the blame for his actions. "And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be..." (1 Samuel 25:24). That's going above and beyond the call of duty. You see, she wasn't concerned with her reputation, she was concerned with her husband's. As far as she was concerned, if he didn't have one, she didn't either. So, her actions were in his interest.
Where do our interests lie? Are they with our spouse, or are they just selfish? In a marriage relationship, God has ordained for the woman to submit to her husband, and for the man to love his wife. There's no room for self, only room to look to the needs of the other. When we do that, true joy can enter into the marriage.