Marriage Teaching of the Month

MARRIAGE TEACHING OF THE MONTH
August 2001

Help Meet... Or, Help Me?
by Rich Murphy
In Genesis, chapter two, God had finished creating man (Adam), and put him in the garden of Eden, with a few basic instructions, and the responsibility of ruling over the world. Then in verse 18, as a continuing act of His creation, God decides, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Not a helper, not a slave, not a boss, not a co-worker, but a help meet.
Some translations use the word "helper" in this verse, instead of "help meet," but this is one place that the King James translation is more accurate than the others. The term "help meet" actually is a construction term. When a column needs to be made stronger, the normal way is to add more material around it. This material put around the column to make it stronger is called a "help meet."
Literally, "help meet" means "to surround" and "to support by surrounding." That's the position that God has given to women, the position of supporting their husbands. Through this support, they can make their husbands stronger and able to accomplish more.
There's an old saying that goes something like "behind every great man stands a great woman." I haven't studied all the "great" men of history to insure that this is true, but I am sure that a woman can make an average husband accomplish more and greater things than he could on his own. I also know that a woman can destroy a man who's destined for greatness.

But, the real question is: are women fulfilling the role that God has given them. Are the women of today supporting and strengthening their husbands? Or, are they instead expecting their husbands to support and strengthen them?
In our modern, "liberated" society, the idea of being a support to a man has become if not a dirty word, then at least a frowned upon idea. Women are expected to make a place for themselves in the world, not be supportive of their husbands accomplishing great things. Sometimes, this goes so far that it puts women in competition with their own husbands.
Instead of being supportive to her husband, many times a woman is looking towards her husband to be supportive towards her. She doesn't have the time or emotional capital to encourage her husband, she's needing his support. Why? Because we've put women into roles that God never intended them to be.
I'm not going to the extreme of saying that women should never work outside the home. Nor am I saying that women shouldn't accomplish anything except supporting their husbands. There have been many great women in history who have contributed much to our world. What I am saying is that a woman's first calling is to her God and her second is to her husband. If God has given her something else to do in life, it won't be at the cost of these two.
I'm also saying that men need the support of their wife in order to accomplish what God has called them to do. God calls families. He won't call a man to do one thing, and his wife another. He'll give her a calling that will ultimately support the fulfilling of her husband's.
Finally, I'm saying that we need to rethink the "conventional wisdom" of our society. The thoughts of the world have invaded the church to the point where we accept the world's opinion of the value of a woman's work over the opinion of God. We need to understand and value the work of a supportive wife more than that of a woman who's working in the world. Why? Because that's what God created her to do.