Marriage Teaching Jun 00

The Holy of Holies of Your Marriage
June 2000
by Rich Murphy

In the book of Exodus, while Moses was on the mountaintop, God gave him a plan for the tabernacle. This was to be a portable place for the nation of Israel to worship their God. It was a tent with two rooms, enclosed in a courtyard. Each and every thing in the tabernacle was a symbol pointing towards the ministry of the Messiah.
There were three basic areas within the tabernacle compound. First there was the courtyard. This was a fenced in area, with fabric walls, supported on tent poles. Other than the priests, this was the only part that the people of Israel were allowed to see. It was here that they came to make offerings to God.
Although the people of Israel were allowed in the courtyard to make offerings to God, they were not allowed in the tabernacle itself. Nor were the Levites allowed in this area. Only the priests could come into the tabernacle of God. On top of this, only the high priest could come into the inner room of the tabernacle, called the holy of holies. Even he was limited here too, he could come into the holy of holies only on the Day of Atonement after preparation and sacrifice.
Okay, so what does this have to do with marriage? Hold on, hold on. We're getting there. I'm drawing a parallel for you to see.
The courtyard was the place of sanctification and consecration. The holy place was the place of service to God, but the holy of holies was the place of communion and fellowship with God.

Within our marriages, we need to apply these different "zones;" Especially the holy of holy zone. Let's see if we can draw a parallel here. The courtyard is like our front and back yards. In the tabernacle of Moses, you couldn't have any relationship with God without coming into the courtyard, because it was there that you came into right standing with Him. In our homes, it is difficult to have a relationship with someone that doesn't come onto our property.
The house itself is like the holy place. It is the place of service to our family. We each take opportunities within the home to find times to serve each other. This is an important part of our relationship because it shows our love for one another, and given us the opportunity to meet each other's needs.
The "holy of holies" for our marriages needs to be the master bedroom. This is that place that has been set aside for the celebration of our marriages. Yet, all too often, it becomes the place to stuff things that we don't want in the way during the day.
Sometimes, when we are visiting a family, I'll take a peek in the master bedroom while I'm on the way to the bathroom. You can tell a lot about a couple's marriage by that quick peek. Often, I find that when the woman was cleaning the house for "company" to come, she threw everything she didn't know what to do with into the master bedroom and close the door.
This isn't treating the holy of holies with proper reverence. It isn't setting this place aside the master bedroom as a place of communion of the marriage, it's treating it worse than the other parts of the house.

A marriage is a covenant relationship. Evey covenant needs certain places and acts that are special to that covenant, as a reminder of the covenant. Within marriage, lovemaking is the covenant act that is set aside to celebrate and remind us of the covenant.
When we set aside the master bedroom as the holy of holies in our marriage, it becomes a place for the celebration of that covenant. Instead of being just another room, it is a place we enter to celebrate our love for one another. Just entering it becomes a reminder of that love, and gives us a desire to celebrate that love.
As a place to celebrate our love, it should be made ready for that purpose. Instead of throwing the junk we don't know what to do with in there, the master bedroom should be the best looking room in the house. All those extra "things" in the bedroom become distractions during lovemaking, preventing us from concentrating fully on each other. This is especially true for a woman.
Decorate your holy of holies to create an atmosphere for loving one another. Don't let your bedroom be the last place to be decorated, make it the first. Pillows, low lights, candles, some nice decorations on the wall...

God has instructed us to have a "no chitchat line" at the threshold to our bedroom. This means that once we enter into our bedroom, we aren't allowed to talk about miscellaneous "stuff." No talk about our day, the bills, the children, or anything else. All we can talk about is:

The Lord

The Word of God

Our relationship

Our love for one another

If we need to talk about those other things, we leave the bedroom, and talk in the living room. That way, our holy of holies isn't desecrated by the problems of our lives.
Many couples enter their bedroom, talk about the day, talk about their problems, and then try to make love. This causes great problems for the woman. She can't switch gears from problems to lovemaking that quick. The man is ready to make love, but the woman is overwhelmed by her day. When we avoid talking about all these other things, it sets the bedroom aside for the marriage.
Make a holy of holies for your marriage covenant!