Marriage Teaching - Who's Right is Sex Anyway?

WHO'S RIGHT IS SEX ANYWAY?
by Rich Murphy

In our society today, we have an idea that sex is the man's right, and the woman has to give him sex. This "has to" is probably even more revelant in the attitudes of believers than even in the world. However the Bible says:

"If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish."
Exodus 20:9

The "him" in this verse refers to a man who is married and getting married to a second woman. The "her" refers to the first wife in a polygamous marriage. "Duty of marriage" is a euphamism for sex.
Although it doesn't say it directly, the Jews understand this to mean that sex is a woman's right in marriage. They even write it into the Ketubah, the Jewish wedding contract/licence/covenant. There are several passages in the Talmud (ancient Jewish rabbitical writings) that back this up.
However, in the New Testament the apostle Paul was probably correcting a misunderstanding of the Jews of that day. He wrote:

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1 Cor 7:5

Putting the two together, I would have to say that First Corinthians superscedes Exodus. Not that Exodus is wrong, but that First Corinthians is a more complete understanding (it agrees with Exodus, and adds more to it).
Notice please that both of these scriptures disagree with the cultural normal understanding of today. Our culture (here in USA, but other places as well) says that sex is a man's right, and the woman must give it to him (in Christianity as well). The bible says, no, it isn't just the man's right, it's the woman's as well. That makes a pretty clear case that both need to be satisfied in the relationship, not just the man.

Normally in a couple, the one who wants it the least is the one who decides how much sex the couple has. That means in a couple that's in their 20's or 30's she's controlling it, and he's "sexually starved." In a couple that's in their 40's and up, he's controlling their sex, and she's "sexually starved."
Since sex is supposed to be a covenant act of love, where would one get the idea that they had the "right" to deny the other? We should always be ready to express our love towards each other.