by Rich Murphy
Someone I know recently said "The dilemma that women face is that most men are slime (I will debate the percentage). This makes it difficult for women to submit to their husbands, and in many cases, women use this as an excuse for not submitting.
However, the problem is that God doesn't exactly give us leeway in His Word for whether those in authority are good or bad. We are told to obey our governmental authorities, even if they don't do those things we like.
It appears to apply here as well. Peter also tells women to win their husbands to the Lord by their chaste actions.
The subject of submission is more one of attitude than of actions. It is possible for a woman to have an attitude of submission without having the ability to obey (if he told her to do something she couldn't do).
I like the image that the Amplified Bible gives. It says "wives subject (be sumbissive and adapt yourseles) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord" (Eph 5:22 Amplified). The first verse in the chapter says "Therefore be immitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father].
Put together, this can give the image that the woman is becoming like the man, as he is becoming like Christ. That makes the (godly) man as a visual image and help for his family in their process of becoming Christlike.
Although the Bible commands women to submit to their husbands, there isn't one place that it tells men to lord over, command, rule, or govern their wives.
What the Bible does command men to do is love their wives. Actually, the word used is the Greek "agape" love. The same type of love our God displays towards us. However, somewhere along the way, we've lost the meaning of this word.
Agape is the Greek translation of the Hebrew word "haceed." Although they had the word in their language, the Greeks didn't use it, as they didn't know what it meant. It actually came from OT covenant. In that context, haceed means "To have an overwhelming desire to give of yourself to the other person, for their benefit, no matter what it costs you." That's what men are supposed to do to their wives!
One other thing, men are to haceed/agape their wives using Christ as our example. In this context, there isn't one place in the Bible where God has commanded us to do anything for His benefit. So, men should only "command" their wives to do those things that are for her benefit.